I’ve learned the hard way self-respect must come first Someone recently told me to consider the number of concessions or sacrifices I am willing to make when starting a relationship. I hadn’t considered that I might be making a grave mistake of doing anything for love. I’m embarrassed to admit that despite years of counseling others, […]
Month: July 2020


The Pandemic is Helping My Broken Family Heal
It’s bringing us back together after we suffered a worse tragedy This pandemic has had a profound effect on my life. All of our lives. Many of them severe. Loss of income, limited contact with friends and family, difficulty balancing family and work-life are just a few of the more serious repercussions. I know people whose […]

How Being Nice Nearly Cost Me My Vision
Learning the hard way the importance of sticking up for myself After spending a couple of years abroad, I’d fallen behind with the routine matters of healthcare. I had ignored dental cleanings, eye exams, and annual physicals. Yeah, I know, not good for a woman in her fifties. Dealing with an abusive marriage left little energy […]

My Private Admission: I am a Bald Woman
And up to now it’s been source of tremendous shame I have a secret. Something that has been a source of shame that I’ve mostly kept to myself. Only a handful of people know. I’m a bald woman. In my mid-thirties, I suddenly lost nearly all of my hair. Devastated and ashamed, I thought my […]

Being a Cougar Was Never My Intention
But I sure am enjoying the benefits “You can have any man you want,” my ex used to say. I’d heard that before and each time I was never quite sure what was meant by it. I think the statement is ridiculous. If it were true, then I would have dated the most handsome basketball […]

Is This Guy an Online Dating Shark?
There’s what he says and then what he actually means You may have heard the old adage, there are plenty of good fish in the sea, when it comes to meeting available men. That may be true, but I’d like to point out that the phrase neglects to say what kind of fish. And be […]

Why I Don’t Hate the Other Woman
She’s just another one of his victims It’s been a year since my ex, a self-professed sex addict, walked out of my life and into hers. I’ve been all over the map on how I feel about her. I’ve studied her in the hopes that I’d figure her out, fantasized meeting and slapping her, raged at […]

I Was Shamed for Helping Out
Sometimes it’s impossible to do enough A weird thing happened to me recently. Someone shamed me over text for doing a good deed. I was just trying to help out, but according to this stranger I didn’t do it in the right way. Last summer, I moved internationally and started over. This was the third time […]

My Loved One Abused Me with Invalidation
And probably you’ve done to someone you love too. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” my ex muttered, as if conceding. He quickly glanced sideways at me before looking back at the road. With one hand on the steering wheel, he slid his other into mine. I let my hand rest in his, limp and lifeless. […]

Never Again: Facing the Truth to Stop the Cycle
A closer look at the importance of introspection for lasting change This past week I’ve been flooded with memories. I’m sure it has to do with the date on the calendar. Later this month is my third wedding anniversary. And I think to myself never again. The flashbacks aren’t fond recollections, but snapshots of painful, disturbing, […]