How Good Are You at Spotting a Narcissist?

I thought I was pretty good at identifying toxic people. After all, my doctoral program was on the cutting edge of understanding personality disorders. I took every class I could on the topic.

Then, I met my ex. We joked about his narcissistic traits as though they were something funny. But I had never heard of narcissistic abuse, a trauma bond, or cognitive dissonance until it happened to me.

The latest research on pathological love relationships is alarming. It has been estimated that up to seventy-five percent of narcissistic abuse victims struggle with significant trauma. Moreover, chronic and persistent cognitive dissonance has been shown to cause neurological damage.

All of this spells trouble for those in a toxic relationship.

So, how good are you at spotting a narcissist?

Anyone who’s met a narcissist knows that this is not as easy as it sounds. People with NPD are masterful at making first impressions. Their overblown confidence and charisma can blind us to their arrogance. And when you add in their highly developed ability to mask their competitiveness and jealousy, they can be difficult to identify.

It’s not enough to have firm interpersonal boundaries. Narcissists and other toxic people have an uncanny ability to weaponize our psychological needs. Not hindered by civil behavior, they find it easy to corner us into no-win situations, forcing us to betray ourselves.

Here are a few things to watch out for:

• Someone who seems too good to be true.
• Someone who makes you feel ill-at-ease, even if you can’t explain why.
• Someone who either shares too many details or acts evasively.

Would you like to learn how to safeguard yourself against someone predatory?

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