Why I Didn't Know I'd Married a Narcissist
Would you think as a psychologist I’d know my new husband was a narcissist? It should have been obvious, right? After all the years of education, training, and counseling experience, you think I would have recognized the signs of narcissism.
But, I didn’t.
That’s because narcissists are able to hide in plain sight. They exude confidence and charm, even sensitivity, and we think we’ve met someone healthy–even amazing.
On our first date, my ex exclaimed he’d come to make my life easier. After raising three sons, managing a small part-time counseling practice, and then caring for dying husband, it was music to my ears. That’s how love-bombing works. Narcissists and other toxic people create a facade. They become who we need them to be so that we think we’ve met our perfect match.
And when we discover it isn’t true our world comes crashing down. At least it did for me.
When did you discover the truth? Were you shocked as I was?
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Kerry Kerr McAvoy, a psychologist, author and writer, is in cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues.