Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy — author, educator with a 25-year background in psychology, and survivor — for expert interviews and deeply validating insight into why these relationships are so confusing, and how to find your way forward.
Are You Feeling Stuck? Take my FREE “Toxic or Troubled?” survey to discover your relationship type and get instant access to a complete, private mini-course—educational overviews, reflective questions, grounding techniques, and new strategies tailored to your situation. ▶ Start here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey —— What if every explanation you offer becomes ammunition? Have you noticed how a narcissist stays one-up without ever having to raise their voice In this...
Future faking hoovering isn't a change of heart. It's a second round of grooming, aimed at exactly what the first round wanted. In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on what's actually happening when someone shows up with flowers, apologies and a raked pile of leaves after months of silence — and why the answer has almost nothing to do with you. In this episode: • Why not being hoovered is a read on what you had left to give • Hoovering is a role vacancy, not a longi...
What if naming the disorder never actually got you out? And what if the thing you've been calling proof was really just a way to feel in control? In this episode, Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee take on the debate splitting the recovery world right now — one universal predator type, or many distinct subtypes. You can know exactly what someone is and stay anyway. You can't choose your neighbor, your coworker, or the parent sitting next to you at the PTA meeting. Understanding the diagnosis ...
Gray divorce isn't a midlife crisis. For a lot of people, it's the end of a con that ran for decades. When researchers ask why people divorce after 50, the top answer from women isn't money or infidelity — it was abuse. In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on why so many people stay in psychologically abusive marriages for 20 or 30 years, and why leaving late isn't a failure of judgment. In this episode: * Why boomers are divorcing at four times the rate of 1...
Why did you do things you swore you'd never do, just to get their love back? In this episode, Kerry and researcher Dr. Karen Mitchell unpack why affection from a narcissistic or predatory partner can feel like a drug. It's intense and strategic, and then it's suddenly withdrawn. They also explore who predatory people target: honest, kind-hearted people. And why recovery can take years. This was never about you being weak. The pull you felt was engineered, and understanding it is how you...
Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after? What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics be...
UK psychotherapist, expert in echoism, and fellow survivor
Why does it seem like they forget what they did the moment you confront them?
If they’re going to therapy and reading self-help books, doesn’t that mean they’re changing?
Is it shame that keeps them from owning the harm, or something else entirely?
I’m trying to heal from narcissistic abuse and I want to know why can’t people just show up and support me instead of shutting me down
YouTube Q&A Replay
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Dr. Kerry McAvoy is an author, educator, and narcissistic abuse expert with a 25-year background in psychology.
She combines research-informed frameworks with personal insight to help people navigate toxic dynamics, break free from cognitive dissonance, and reclaim their lives.
“Lynn Strathdee is a UK-based Psychodynamic Therapist and relationship abuse recovery specialist with years of clinical and lived experience.
She combines deep psychological insight with personal understanding to help survivors make sense of what happened — and find their way back to safety and themselves.
