Most people imagine they’d recognize a sex addict. But here’s the reality most survivors never realize: you were never meant to see it.
Sexual addictive behavior doesn’t look like deception or betrayal; it looks like distance, irritability, or a relationship going cold. You don’t realize you’re with someone who’s living a double life.
In this interview, Dr. Kerry sits down with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, who specializes in sexual addiction and toxic relationships. Together they break down the deception architecture a sex addict builds, how narcissistic traits fuel the compartmentalization, and why partners so often blame themselves before they ever suspect the truth.
It was never just about hiding an affair or a porn habit. It was about constructing a version of reality that kept you looking inward — at yourself — instead of at what was actually happening.
If you’ve ever felt something was deeply wrong in your relationship but couldn’t name it, this episode will give you language for what you experienced.
Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment
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In the members-only Podcast Extra, learn the specific behavioral signs you’ll notice first. If you’re wondering whether what you experienced was real, this is where you’ll find your answer.
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CHERYL CAMARILLO, a trauma-informed social worker demystifies the complexities of deep-seated trauma and offers a compassionate, real-world roadmap for individuals and families navigating life’s heaviest struggles. As a social worker, consultant, and adoptive mother, Cheryl has spent decades on the front lines of human resilience. She brings her vast expertise to two critical, modern battlegrounds: sex therapy and sex addiction/partner betrayal trauma.
Website: https://cherylcamarillo.com
Key Moments
- 0:00 The Perfect Marriage With a Basement Full of Secrets
- 1:00 How Cheryl Married Into This World
- 3:09 Discovering the Truth and Finding Her Calling
- 5:17 Spotting the Pattern and Its Three Root Causes
- 7:34 Kerry’s Own Story of 17 Women in Three Weeks
- 9:01 Is Sex Addiction a Form of Narcissism?
- 9:30 The Hidden Trauma You Can’t See or Prove
- 11:33 What Real Intimacy Is Supposed to Feel Like
- 12:48 Why the Betrayed Partner Gets Left Behind
- 14:54 What Really Shapes a Sex Addict
- 17:32 Entitlement, Compulsion, and the Need for a Hit
- 22:04 Why Narcissists Never Feel Real Shame
- 23:48 Who Actually Recovers and
Resources
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ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry’s AI-powered coaching app
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The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
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First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
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Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Dr. Kerry!
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.
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