You’ve tried explaining yourself. You’ve tried having the conversation. But what happens when nothing changes, no matter how carefully you say it?
When you’ve spent so long questioning yourself, it can be difficult to trust your own judgment about what’s happening.
If you’re struggling to make sense of your relationship, take my free Toxic or Troubled? survey to gain some clarity and explore your next steps.
https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey
Has someone you trusted ever put your life at risk, then acted like it was all in good fun?
In this episode, Kerry sits down with journalist, and former whitewater raft guide Melanie Hamlett to explore why so many men treat danger as entertainment. Together they unpack how male conditioning strips away empathy and why ego and adrenaline override common sense. They also examine why so many women are taught to trust a confident man over their own intuition, even when lives are on the line.
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Mel get honest about the hardest part of healing: owning the ways we vouched for, protected, and stayed with dangerous people.
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Melanie Hamlett is a comedian, journalist, and storyteller based in Lyon, France. Her work has appeared in Harper’s Bazaar, The Washington Post, Glamour, Slate, and The Daily Beast. That includes a viral Harper’s Bazaar piece that has been cited in dozens of podcasts, books, and articles. She’s a multiple-time Moth winner. Before moving into writing and comedy, she spent years as a whitewater raft guide, an Outward Bound wilderness instructor, and a ski instructor. That firsthand experience shapes her work on the hidden dangers women face in the outdoors and in relationships.
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MelanieHamlett
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melhamlett/
00:00 Why river guides flip the raft on purpose
00:36 Meet Melanie Hamlett
04:53 A woman died on my first day as a raft guide
08:58 Don’t let a man override your intuition
11:35 My father’s dangerous stunts with us kids
14:17 Why do men put women in danger?
18:35 How men are raised to be reckless
22:46 Why women keep taking care of these men
26:09 Why smart women still default to men
28:40 When “toughing it out” nearly kills you
30:40 They call it carnage, like it’s fun
36:04 Where to find Melanie
36:48 Coming up in the Podcast Extra
Resources
- The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
- First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
- Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
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Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
