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Why It’s Hard to Breathe Around Some People: How Niceness Can Hide Control Dynamics

November 17, 2025

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Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
Why It’s Hard to Breathe Around Some People: How Niceness Can Hide Control Dynamics
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Ever feel like you’re slowly running out of air in a “nice” relationship?

This week, Eleni Sagredos joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how coercive control hides behind charm and “preferences,” and why it’s so hard to spot until your autonomy has been chipped away. We trace the subtle dynamics that slowly worsen an abusive power imbalance.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

🔹 From subtle control to danger: how escalation works—and why “just leave” can be a privilege, yet safety planning matters now.

Eleni and Dr. Kerry map the climb from small criticisms to coercion to high-risk moments, and where to get immediate support (DV hotlines, advocates, transitional housing).

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

More About Eleni Sagredos

ELENI SAGREDOS is an abuse educator and a certified Domestic Violence Advocate with a passion for raising awareness about covert abuse and domestic violence. She is the author of the book But They’re So Nice: Unmasking Covert Abuse & Narcissistic People, which sheds light on the insidious nature of emotional and psychological abuse often overlooked or minimized. Eleni is most active on TikTok, where she shares her insights, experiences, and resources to help others recognize the dynamics and tactics in abusive relationships.

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If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

Resources
Follow Dr. Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.

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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

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