He checked the grocery receipt. And the look on his face said everything: he expected to catch you at something.
You weren't a partner. You were a suspected thief.
But that moment — that first time money became a surveillance tool — didn't come out of nowhere. It didn't start with the receipts, or the interrogations, or the separate account he opened without telling you.
It started the moment he made you feel like the luckiest person alive. Because that feeling — of being chosen, adored, and completely seen — was the setup for everything that came after.
This week, Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with clinical co-host and UK psychologist Lynn S. to break down exactly how narcissists use love bombing to lay the groundwork for financial control — and why so many survivors don't recognize the trap until they're already inside it.
In this episode:
- Why money is never just money in a narcissistic relationship
- The “eating off my plate” impulse: the primitive threat response that drives financial control
- How love bombing creates the emotional dependency that makes financial control feel normal — even deserved
- The “empty jar” framework: why giving second chances too early is one of the most dangerous mistakes in new relationships.
Want to go deeper?
For the Podcast Extra interview:
Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Kerry and Lynn's full conversation on “sitting in the grey” — the psychological skill narcissists systematically destroy, and why rebuilding your capacity to trust your own inner compass requires something most survivors never think to look for.
🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse
LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
- The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
- First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
- Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
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Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
