They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them.
But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it.
That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.
This Thursday episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships — to break down what financial abuse actually is and what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.
In this episode:
- Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control
- The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources
- How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible
- Why survivors so often exit these relationships having to start over in debt, isolated, and exhausted
- What financial recovery really requires
Key Moments:
00:00 — Caught in the middle: the child who can't take sides
02:05 — “My worst enemy, but also my best friend”: love with conditions
03:39 — When the sensitive child becomes the target
05:07 — The gaze that builds a self — and the one that breaks it
06:36 — “I never said that”: memory gaslighting and siblings who stop speaking
08:55 — Protecting your kids: hypervigilance, loyalty binds, and staying regulated
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
- The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
- First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
- Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Dr. Kerry!
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
