Try subtlety instead of commando assaults. After having gone on a few dates and done plenty of texting this past year, I’ve noticed a trend. We seem to have forgotten the subtle art of seduction. Where’s the slow build-up of flirtatious playfulness? It’s not a 50-something-year old problem either. I’ve met a wide range of […]
Tag: Relationships
The Problem of Not Taking a Man at His Word
A hard lesson in gender communication and new relationships Until recently, I’ve mistakenly ignored one critical piece of information when starting to date someone new — and I’ve done so at my peril. I have failed to take this person at his word. I’ve made this mistake with the best of intentions, in the hopes of preserving […]
Is the One You’re Dating Emotionally Mature?
4 signs you’ve met someone ready to date. As I hung up the phone with this latest guy I’ve been getting to know, it hit me just how critical emotional maturity is to successful dating. Samantha Burn, couples counselor, and dating coach said in an interview that, emotionally immature people have “a ‘me’ factor over a […]
Things No One Warned Me About Dating in My 50s
An old friend contacted me with some questions, as some of her single girlfriends had started to date, and their decisions were surprising her — particularly when it came to sex. Since she was still married to her college sweetheart, this was unknown territory. “What’s going on? Is this normal? What’s been your experience?” she asked. Listening […]
My Dating Life Has Improved Since COVID-19
It has forced me to build a friendship first. Tired of the online dating app scene, I decided to try something different — to use a matchmaking service. I’d considered it several years earlier, but then I met my second husband, making it unnecessary. Finding outside help for my dating woes It felt strange to hire an outside […]
Grieving the Loss of the Pre-COVID-19 World
The good news is that we are all doing this together. The other day I received a message from a friend that read: “I just needed to talk. To say these things to someone I know who gets it.” We hopped on a video call. Then, she began to cry. “Sorry, it’s all getting to […]
The Problem With Advice and What to Do Differently
I know you are just trying to be helpful Everyone has an opinion. Giving advice about how to live life feels good. For those few minutes, we become an expert at something. And we are reassured that in at least one area of our life, we have it under better control than someone else. My life […]
Social Distancing Isn’t New, We Do It to Victims All the Time
A closer look at our uncomfortableness with trauma stories. I recently wrote about the personal details of being raped. I felt terrified as I prepared to publish the article. How would others react to reading the brutal violence I experienced? The power of social pressure to silence Most of my life, I’ve carried a deep sense of […]
My Struggle to Find My Voice After Sexual Abuse
Trying to re-integrate my fragmented self into someone whole. Sticking up for myself is hard. I’m still trying to find my voice. I’ve heard many women complain that they have trouble asking for what they want or need too, but it’s particularly challenging for me. When triggered, I react by becoming oddly submissive, an old coping […]
How John Lennon Inspired Me to Look at My Trust Issues
The problem wasn’t that I trusted too much, but rather that I trusted too fast As I looked across the cafe’s small table located downtown New York City, I saw the man I’d contacted on a dating app. As we started talking, I realized this guy was looking for support, rather than a romantic interest. A […]
