We weren’t ready for the anger that often accompanies grief No one tells you what to expect when an immediate family member sick and most of us are ill-prepared for death. You’d think everyone would naturally come together to grieve. Pain, however, does odd things to relationships. Since no one likes to talk about losing … Read more
And complicates our grief A friend texted me this morning. Her mother died yesterday. And my heart broke. Relationships with family are rarely simple. Each person is more than a familiar presence but also occupies an important role. Mother is an archetype that embodies unconscious longing, needs, and wishes. Take my mom, for instance. She is … Read more
Helping the vulnerable not just survive, but thrive He learned too late that all we have is this present moment. Brad walked into the bedroom dressed in his khaki shorts and a polo shirt, his white golf gloves still pulled high on both hands. With a big grin plastered on his face, he said, “You know, … Read more
And up to now it’s been source of tremendous shame I have a secret. Something that has been a source of shame that I’ve mostly kept to myself. Only a handful of people know. I’m a bald woman. In my mid-thirties, I suddenly lost nearly all of my hair. Devastated and ashamed, I thought my … Read more
Grieving Don’t Need Pity, Just the Freedom to Mourn In our way, in our time, and for long as it lasts. It’s been nearly five years since my husband died — the anniversary of his death is in a couple of weeks. You would think I would move through the grieving stages. To be done and through this … Read more
At least it is today as I remember my husband on our wedding anniversary. The calendar rolled over to today’s date, May 19, and my mind flashed to where I was thirty-six years ago. I can’t believe as I celebrate this day, I do so as a widow. A starry-eyed new college graduate, today was … Read more
My Son’s No-Win Healthcare Decision “Mom, I wanted to let you know I just spoke to the doctor about my cancer treatment. About whether or not I’m going to continue with chemotherapy,” my son texted me. “What did you decide?” I asked. I knew this moment would come. I held my breath as I waited … Read more
The good news is that we are all doing this together. The other day I received a message from a friend that read: “I just needed to talk. To say these things to someone I know who gets it.” We hopped on a video call. Then, she began to cry. “Sorry, it’s all getting to … Read more
No Such Thing as Being Ready While enjoying one of my guilty pleasures which is to watch a replay of my favorite television show over lunch, one of the characters made a statement that gave me pause with its simplicity and profundity. I had to repeat it out loud to hear it again. And as I … Read more
A friend shared this powerful blog written by an oncology nurse, Lindsay, who is now a cancer patient. It is a open letter to her former patients titled, Dear every cancer patient I ever took care of, I’m sorry. I didn’t get it, and describes what she has learned from her personal experience with cancer. … Read more