And the default is no By GB Rogut Trigger warning: This piece is about non consensual sex and may be too graphic or disturbing for some. It wasn’t the first time we had sex. Still, the last couple of times hadn’t been that pleasurable, and it looked like this one wasn’t going to be either. […]
Category: Interpersonal Issues
Hoping to be Loved, I Made the Mistake of Being Too Nice
And ended up being disrespected I heard from my ex recently. He emailed and asked for a large sum of money. Not hundreds of dollars, but thousands. Mind you, we’ve been divorced for over a year. This guy exited the relationship much richer than he entered it — and me much poorer. While married, I made the […]
The Difficulty of Finding Unconditional Love
We often don’t recognize it even when it’s standing right in front of us What is unconditional love? I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately. Would I recognize it if I saw it or better yet, felt it? I don’t think so, but I’m working hard to change that. What is unconditional love? My […]
Why Cell Phone Snooping Sometimes Is Necessary
It might be the only way to know you’re not crazy s it ever okay to snoop on someone else’s phone? This question tends to stir up strong emotions on both sides of the issue. There are those who think trust and respect are paramount in a relationship. Breaking into our partner’s phone or computer […]
Common Mistake of Doing Anything for Love
I’ve learned the hard way self-respect must come first Someone recently told me to consider the number of concessions or sacrifices I am willing to make when starting a relationship. I hadn’t considered that I might be making a grave mistake of doing anything for love. I’m embarrassed to admit that despite years of counseling others, […]
How Being Nice Nearly Cost Me My Vision
Learning the hard way the importance of sticking up for myself After spending a couple of years abroad, I’d fallen behind with the routine matters of healthcare. I had ignored dental cleanings, eye exams, and annual physicals. Yeah, I know, not good for a woman in her fifties. Dealing with an abusive marriage left little energy […]
I Was Shamed for Helping Out
Sometimes it’s impossible to do enough A weird thing happened to me recently. Someone shamed me over text for doing a good deed. I was just trying to help out, but according to this stranger I didn’t do it in the right way. Last summer, I moved internationally and started over. This was the third time […]
Leaving my Sex Addict & Frida Kahlo
I did what she couldn’t - and have started over without him. As I wrapped up the last chapter of my memoir on being married to a sex addict, I researched one or two final facts. I entered a few words into the search bar, and a photograph popped up. Its content startled me, making me gasp. There […]
Why Celibacy is the Right Choice for Me
It may not always be, but is for right now. Last night the thought crossed my mind to masturbate. But then the urge passed, and I drifted to sleep. This morning it hit me — it’s been over two months since my last orgasm. I’m just not interested. Without being fully conscious of it, I’ve entered into a […]
The Problem of Not Taking a Man at His Word
A hard lesson in gender communication and new relationships Until recently, I’ve mistakenly ignored one critical piece of information when starting to date someone new — and I’ve done so at my peril. I have failed to take a man at his word. I’ve made this mistake with the best of intentions, in the hopes of preserving […]