I did what she couldn’t - and have started over without him. As I wrapped up the last chapter of my memoir on being married to a sex addict, I researched one or two final facts. I entered a few words into the search bar, and a photograph popped up. Its content startled me, making me gasp. There […]
Tag: Self
The Hookup Mentality is Ruining My Dating Life
I find it tiresome and disturbing. Last week I closed both of my online dating profiles frustrated with the pervasive hookup mentality . I arrived at this decision after a busy week of three first dates. Two out of the three guys wanted to see me again, so I guess you could say it went […]
How Can Being Single Be a Gift from God?
Discover the gift hidden within. As I sat on my yoga mat and ended my practice with meditation today, I contemplated God’s faithfulness. My thoughts drifted to who God has been to me over the past few years. Wrapping up the first draft of my latest memoir has gotten me thinking about God and his promise […]
Why Celibacy is the Right Choice for Me
It may not always be, but is for right now. Last night the thought crossed my mind to masturbate. But then the urge passed, and I drifted to sleep. This morning it hit me — it’s been over two months since my last orgasm. I’m just not interested. Without being fully conscious of it, I’ve entered into a […]
7 Practical Ways to Combat the Stress
And it goes beyond the importance of a balanced diet, regular exercise, and a daily schedule. As I ended the video call with my online friends, it hit me how stressed we all are. The whole world is facing the likes of something several generations have never seen before. How are we supposed to combat […]
Social Distancing Isn’t New to Sexual Abuse Victims
A closer look at our uncomfortableness with trauma stories. I recently wrote about the personal details of being sexually abused. I felt terrified as I prepared to publish the article. How would others react to reading the brutal violence I experienced? The power of social pressure to silence Most of my life, I’ve carried a deep sense […]
My Struggle to Find My Voice After Sexual Abuse
Trying to re-integrate my fragmented self into someone whole. Sticking up for myself is hard. I’m still trying to find my voice. I’ve heard many women complain that they have trouble asking for what they want or need too, but it’s particularly challenging for me. When triggered, I react by becoming oddly submissive, an old coping […]
Being Raped as a Preschooler and Finding Healing
It’s hard work, but I’m finding the inner strength to stand up for myself. Today I’m flying home in the midst of the coronavirus scare. I’m grateful for the medical mask that covers most of my face. It’s doing more than protecting me from the spreading epidemic; it’s hiding my tears. Being raped as a preschooler […]
The Problem of Being a ‘Too Much Woman’ in Today’s Dating World
When ‘too much’ is actually just right. Being a woman today is tough. Most of us face tremendous pressure to conform to societal standards, both in our professional and personal lives– to avoid being a “too-much woman.” Convinced this type of cultural demand was partially to blame for my recent vulnerability to emotional manipulation, I’ve vowed […]
How My Unconscious Mind Keeps Messing up My Dating Life
Apparently Freud got something right about the power of making the unconscious conscious I recently started dating again. This was the first time I’d dipped my toe back in the dating pool since getting a divorce. As I met a few men my age, I noticed a problem, though: instead of having feelings of attraction, […]
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