A common undiagnosed or misdiagnosed condition for many women Almost two weeks ago, someone challenged a fundamental assumption I’d held about myself. This revelation has upended my world. Suddenly I feel wobbly, tentative, and not quite sure who I am. I’m undergoing a massive shift in self-understanding. As a licensed psychologist with over twenty years […]
Tag: Self
My Private Admission: I am a Bald Woman
And up to now it’s been source of tremendous shame I have a secret. Something that has been a source of shame that I’ve mostly kept to myself. Only a handful of people know. I’m a bald woman. In my mid-thirties, I suddenly lost nearly all of my hair. Devastated and ashamed, I thought my […]
Being a Cougar Was Never My Intention
But I sure am enjoying the benefits “You can have any man you want,” my ex used to say. I’d heard that before and each time I was never quite sure what was meant by it. I think the statement is ridiculous. If it were true, then I would have dated the most handsome basketball […]
Leaving my Sex Addict & Frida Kahlo
I did what she couldn’t - and have started over without him. As I wrapped up the last chapter of my memoir on being married to a sex addict, I researched one or two final facts. I entered a few words into the search bar, and a photograph popped up. Its content startled me, making me gasp. There […]
The Hookup Mentality is Ruining My Dating Life
I find it tiresome and disturbing. Last week I closed both of my online dating profiles frustrated with the pervasive hookup mentality . I arrived at this decision after a busy week of three first dates. Two out of the three guys wanted to see me again, so I guess you could say it went […]
How Can Being Single Be a Gift from God?
Discover the gift hidden within. As I sat on my yoga mat and ended my practice with meditation today, I contemplated God’s faithfulness. My thoughts drifted to who God has been to me over the past few years. Wrapping up the first draft of my latest memoir has gotten me thinking about God and his promise […]
Why Celibacy is the Right Choice for Me
It may not always be, but is for right now. Last night the thought crossed my mind to masturbate. But then the urge passed, and I drifted to sleep. This morning it hit me — it’s been over two months since my last orgasm. I’m just not interested. Without being fully conscious of it, I’ve entered into a […]
7 Practical Ways to Combat the Stress
And it goes beyond the importance of a balanced diet, regular exercise, and a daily schedule. As I ended the video call with my online friends, it hit me how stressed we all are. The whole world is facing the likes of something several generations have never seen before. How are we supposed to combat […]
Social Distancing Isn’t New to Sexual Abuse Victims
A closer look at our uncomfortableness with trauma stories. I recently wrote about the personal details of being sexually abused. I felt terrified as I prepared to publish the article. How would others react to reading the brutal violence I experienced? The power of social pressure to silence Most of my life, I’ve carried a deep sense […]
My Struggle to Find My Voice After Sexual Abuse
Trying to re-integrate my fragmented self into someone whole. Sticking up for myself is hard. I’m still trying to find my voice. I’ve heard many women complain that they have trouble asking for what they want or need too, but it’s particularly challenging for me. When triggered, I react by becoming oddly submissive, an old coping […]
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