How Being Nice Nearly Cost Me My Vision

Being Nice

Learning the hard way the importance of sticking up for myself After spending a couple of years abroad, I’d fallen behind with the routine matters of healthcare. I had ignored dental cleanings, eye exams, and annual physicals. Yeah, I know, not good for a woman in her fifties. Dealing with an abusive marriage left little energy … Read more

Leaving my Sex Addict & Frida Kahlo

Sex Addict Frida Kahlo

I did what she couldn’t - and have started over without him. As I wrapped up the last chapter of my memoir on being married to a sex addict, I researched one or two final facts. I entered a few words into the search bar, and a photograph popped up. Its content startled me, making me gasp. There … Read more

The Problem of Not Taking a Man at His Word

Man at His Word

A hard lesson in gender communication and new relationships Until recently, I’ve mistakenly ignored one critical piece of information when starting to date someone new — and I’ve done so at my peril. I have failed to take a man at his word. I’ve made this mistake with the best of intentions, in the hopes of preserving … Read more

The Problem With Advice and What to Do Differently

Problem with advice

I know you are just trying to be helpful Everyone has an opinion. Giving advice about how to live life feels good. For those few minutes, we become an expert at something. And we are reassured that in at least one area of our life, we have it under better control than someone else. Unfortunately that … Read more

How John Lennon Inspired Me to Look at My Trust Issues

Lennon Trust Issues

The problem wasn’t that I trusted too much, but rather that I trusted too fast As I looked across the cafe’s small table located downtown New York City, I saw the man I’d contacted on a dating app. As we started talking, I realized this guy was looking for support, rather than a romantic interest. Both … Read more

Porn Isn’t A Problem?

Porn Addiction Problem

And He Said Porn Was Not a Problem? The impact regular porn use had on my self-esteem and the health of my marriage. My stomach dropped as I read another opinion piece in defense of pornography. It warned regular pornography usage by male partners should be expected, and it excused secret-keeping. Upset female partners were characterized as … Read more