Learning the hard way the importance of sticking up for myself After spending a couple of years abroad, I’d fallen behind with the routine matters of healthcare. I had ignored dental cleanings, eye exams, and annual physicals. Yeah, I know, not good for a woman in her fifties. Dealing with an abusive marriage left little energy … Read more
Sometimes it’s impossible to do enough A weird thing happened to me recently. Someone shamed me over text for doing a good deed. I was just trying to help out, but according to this stranger I didn’t do it in the right way. Last summer, I moved internationally and started over. This was the third time … Read more
I did what she couldn’t - and have started over without him. As I wrapped up the last chapter of my memoir on being married to a sex addict, I researched one or two final facts. I entered a few words into the search bar, and a photograph popped up. Its content startled me, making me gasp. There … Read more
It may not always be, but is for right now. Last night the thought crossed my mind to masturbate. But then the urge passed, and I drifted to sleep. This morning it hit me — it’s been over two months since my last orgasm. I’m just not interested. Without being fully conscious of it, I’ve entered into a … Read more
A hard lesson in gender communication and new relationships Until recently, I’ve mistakenly ignored one critical piece of information when starting to date someone new — and I’ve done so at my peril. I have failed to take a man at his word. I’ve made this mistake with the best of intentions, in the hopes of preserving … Read more
I know you are just trying to be helpful Everyone has an opinion. Giving advice about how to live life feels good. For those few minutes, we become an expert at something. And we are reassured that in at least one area of our life, we have it under better control than someone else. Unfortunately that … Read more
The problem wasn’t that I trusted too much, but rather that I trusted too fast As I looked across the cafe’s small table located downtown New York City, I saw the man I’d contacted on a dating app. As we started talking, I realized this guy was looking for support, rather than a romantic interest. Both … Read more
When Love is Unreciprocated As he walks out of my apartment, I vow I won’t respond to his next text. I’ll be stronger, I tell myself. I’ll ignore the deep yearning to say yes should he ask if I’m free. I’m tired of a one sided love. He’s too young for me, much too young — at … Read more
And He Said Porn Was Not a Problem? The impact regular porn use had on my self-esteem and the health of my marriage. My stomach dropped as I read another opinion piece in defense of pornography. It warned regular pornography usage by male partners should be expected, and it excused secret-keeping. Upset female partners were characterized as … Read more
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