My Struggle to Find My Voice After Sexual Abuse

FRAGMENTED SELF TRAUMA

Trying to re-integrate my fragmented self into someone whole. Sticking up for myself is hard. I’m still trying to find my voice. I’ve heard many women complain that they have trouble asking for what they want or need too, but it’s particularly challenging for me. When triggered, I react by becoming oddly submissive, an old coping … Read more

Being Raped as a Preschooler and Finding Healing

Being Raped

It’s hard work, but I’m finding the inner strength to stand up for myself. Today I’m flying home in the midst of the coronavirus scare. I’m grateful for the medical mask that covers most of my face. It’s doing more than protecting me from the spreading epidemic; it’s hiding my tears. Being raped as a preschooler … Read more

The Problem of Being a ‘Too Much Woman’ in Today’s Dating World

TOO MUCH WOMAN DATING

When ‘too much’ is actually just right. Being a woman today is tough. Most of us face tremendous pressure to conform to societal standards, both in our professional and personal lives– to avoid being a “too-much woman.” Convinced this type of cultural demand was partially to blame for my recent vulnerability to emotional manipulation, I’ve vowed … Read more

How My Unconscious Mind Keeps Messing up My Dating Life

Freud & Unconscious Dating

Apparently Freud got something right about the power of making the unconscious conscious I recently started dating again. This was the first time I’d dipped my toe back in the dating pool since getting a divorce. As I met a few men my age, I noticed a problem, though: instead of having feelings of attraction, … Read more

Rediscovery of Me

One-Sided Love of Being Me

My Rediscovery of Me after a Lifetime of Being a We Embracing my newfound autonomy after divorce I awoke this morning with a big smile. Today is the day my new television arrives. I’ve splurged — kind of, but not really. It’s a 55″ OLED flat-screen TV. For most people, this purchase probably would have been a no-big-deal — a no-brainer. … Read more

Porn Isn’t A Problem?

Porn Addiction Problem

And He Said Porn Was Not a Problem? The impact regular porn use had on my self-esteem and the health of my marriage. My stomach dropped as I read another opinion piece in defense of pornography. It warned regular pornography usage by male partners should be expected, and it excused secret-keeping. Upset female partners were characterized as … Read more

The Secret on How to Make Love Last a Lifetime

Secret Making Love Last

An open letter to my late husband on his birthday Today is my first husband’s birthday. He passed away after a short battle with cancer June 2015. This letter is a tribute to him and to our love. Open Letter To my dearest Bradley, Today would have been your fifty-seventh birthday. Since the boys and I … Read more