A closer look at our uncomfortableness with trauma stories. I recently wrote about the personal details of being sexually abused. I felt terrified as I prepared to publish the article. How would others react to reading the brutal violence I experienced? The power of social pressure to silence Most of my life, I’ve carried a deep sense … Read more
Trying to re-integrate my fragmented self into someone whole. Sticking up for myself is hard. I’m still trying to find my voice. I’ve heard many women complain that they have trouble asking for what they want or need too, but it’s particularly challenging for me. When triggered, I react by becoming oddly submissive, an old coping … Read more
It’s hard work, but I’m finding the inner strength to stand up for myself. Today I’m flying home in the midst of the coronavirus scare. I’m grateful for the medical mask that covers most of my face. It’s doing more than protecting me from the spreading epidemic; it’s hiding my tears. Being raped as a preschooler … Read more
When ‘too much’ is actually just right. Being a woman today is tough. Most of us face tremendous pressure to conform to societal standards, both in our professional and personal lives– to avoid being a “too-much woman.” Convinced this type of cultural demand was partially to blame for my recent vulnerability to emotional manipulation, I’ve vowed … Read more
Apparently Freud got something right about the power of making the unconscious conscious I recently started dating again. This was the first time I’d dipped my toe back in the dating pool since getting a divorce. As I met a few men my age, I noticed a problem, though: instead of having feelings of attraction, … Read more
How a letter written ninety-one years earlier enlightened me When I think of an example of a strong woman – someone I consider a feminist who’s fought for her rights – my grandmother doesn’t come to mind. In fact, I’ve considered her life a prime example of a typical traditional woman. As much as I’ve … Read more
When Love is Unreciprocated As he walks out of my apartment, I vow I won’t respond to his next text. I’ll be stronger, I tell myself. I’ll ignore the deep yearning to say yes should he ask if I’m free. I’m tired of a one sided love. He’s too young for me, much too young — at … Read more
My Rediscovery of Me after a Lifetime of Being a We Embracing my newfound autonomy after divorce I awoke this morning with a big smile. Today is the day my new television arrives. I’ve splurged — kind of, but not really. It’s a 55″ OLED flat-screen TV. For most people, this purchase probably would have been a no-big-deal — a no-brainer. … Read more
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Can You Make Me a Match? My experience with a matchmaking service I pull up into the restaurant’s parking lot. New to the area, I’ve not been here before. I’m to meet my date in five minutes. All I know about him is his name. His first name — that’s it. A few weeks ago, I … Read more
And He Said Porn Was Not a Problem? The impact regular porn use had on my self-esteem and the health of my marriage. My stomach dropped as I read another opinion piece in defense of pornography. It warned regular pornography usage by male partners should be expected, and it excused secret-keeping. Upset female partners were characterized as … Read more